Zombies, Mustache’s & Jumping in Ice Holes

There’s a lot of reasons why owning a plane is great, but there’s a few you might not have thought of. For this newsletter, SkyGeek is going to list 8 reasons you may not have thought of as to why owning a plane is supremely beneficial. Let’s get it started!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

1.   Reason number one: You get to see things like this. No, this isn’t a close up of a wooden nickel. This is The Alberta Indian, a carving in the ground that is thousands of feet wide / tall. Good luck getting perspective on this thing while you’re standing on the ground.

 

 

 

2.   Reason number two: You don’t have to deal with road rage and traffic.  Believe me, there would be nothing more satisfying that putting this guy in his place, but not having to deal with maniacs like this can make your life a lot less high strung. And traffic! You don’t have to sit in TRAFFIC! (I think I just got a little “computer rage” typing that out).

 

 

3.   Reason number three: Revenge. Owning a plane is a great way to get revenge. I got the idea from a skit on the Tom Green Show a while back. Let’s say your friend got a ticket while using your car and now refuses to pay it (or something like that). Casually tell him to meet you somewhere outside after work. You take the day off, gather up all his belongings, load them on your plane, then you fly right over the area you said you’d meet him and throw everything out of the plane so he can see. He’ll know it’s his stuff because you call him on his cell phone right before you do it. Try and top that!

4.   Reason number four: When you put on a captains hat, your mustache becomes 12x more awesome. Being a captain is cool enough, but if you’re a captain with a boss mustache, you’re pretty much untouchable. If I walked on a plane and saw this guy was my captain, I’d feel very confident that not only could he fly the plane, if something happened where we crashed in a tropical rainforest…this guy would be taming snakes and eating Jaguars for breakfast.

 

5.   Reason number five: This is an image taken of a passenger going through screening at an airport. I don’t know if you’re aware, but these scanners are going up in airports across the country (and they’re a lot more revealing than this picture…I couldn’t even put a real one in here). I don’t know if George Orwell has prung from his grave to yell I told you so yet, but he’s certainly getting restless. When you own your own plane, you don’t have to deal with this…ever. Not to mention the long lines, bad plane food, baggage claim, shoe removal and crying babies.

 

6.   Reason number six: You get to use cool language like “Foxtrot this is Chameleon, come in Foxtrot.” You can also joke around with your husband, wife, kids or friends. For instance, say your wife or husband comes into the room and says something like “honey Craig got detention for shooting spitballs.” You can turn to him or her and with the most serious face you have, and in the most serious voice you can muster, say “Ready the plane.” Then you just get up and walk away like you mean serious business.

7.  Reason number seven: You don’t have to pick up a stupid hobby. Owning a plane and everything that goes a long with that is one of the coolest hobbies known to the human species. With that in place, you don’t have to worry about starting a stamp collection or joining a winter swimming club to pass the time. Gaining the ability to fly represents one of the biggest progressive moments in human history. Jumping into an ice hole in the dead of winter represents a step in the wrong direction. Give yourself a pat on the back for helping to move things forward.

8.  Reason number eight: Your escape is already planned. It’s a tough subject to broach, and a sad thing to think about, but if a man-made crisis or natural disaster hits your area…the roads are going to be jammed to the point where walking becomes your best option. Little Cindy’s scooter becomes more valuable than Big Tom’s Mercedes with the Ostrich leather. That is of course unless you have a plane. Whether it’s the explosion of a super volcano, a gigantor flood or a zombie attack, if you have a plane…you’re right out of there. If it’s a zombie attack, just do yourself a favor and don’t look down.

Well, that wraps up the top 8 reasons why owning a plane is super beneficial. We at SkyGeek know there’s probably close to 7,000 more reasons so if you’d like to share, send us over an email…we love the feedback. That’s it for this week, take care everyone!